The first Expendables film, for a lot of people, was largely a letdown considering its billing. The greatest action cast ever assembled? Hardly. As a viewer, to be gifted less than 90 seconds of Arnold must have felt like a con considering his name was on the damn poster. No amount of Randy Couture (who?) or ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin was going to make up for that, and the film itself was by-the-books action. Action which, to be fair, did come thick and fast, but only during select sequences. Most of these scenes though were so dimly lit that it was difficult to tell who was who or what was happening. The plot, if anything, was too thick, with an overused Eric Roberts for some reason trying to treat his role as if it was anything other than tongue-in-cheek, and the overall pace was simply lacklustre.
Where the first film fell massively short on so many fronts, The Expendables 2 completely capitalises. For one, it keeps the plot simple. New villain Jean-Claude Van Damme (yes!) kills an Expendable and makes off with some plutonium that doesn’t belong to him thus giving Stallone’s Barney Ross and his rag-tag team two reasons to track him, find him and kill him. One is a matter of global security, and the other is revenge. It’s literally as simple as that, and that’s as simple as it needs to be.
To say that Van Damme is a better villain that Roberts’ is an understatement. Where Roberts has made quite the career for himself as a villainous character actor, and has certainly proven to be a better actor than Van Damme, The Expendables franchise is all about macho spectacle and little else. So to be able to watch Stallone and Van Damme finally square up to each other is, for many, a dream realised. There’s slow motion spin kicks and everything.
Win: Number Two comes in the form of the Holy Trinity of supporting characters. Willis, Schwarzenegger and Norris are (thankfully) prominantly allowed to feature heavily in places. Let’s just leave it at that. Where Norris (like Van Damme) wasn’t even a part of the first film, he more than has his moments to shine. And unlike the first film, Bruce and Arnie actually get in on the action. That’s right, guns and smart cars and trading one-liners. At times, it’s all a bit much to take in as the lines between homage and parody are so joyfully blurred. One thing is for sure though; it’s all just so damn enjoyable.
The only thing that holds it back is the inclusion of a female Expendable. Not a bad idea by any means, but Nan Yu is entirely useless. Her acting, her face; you’ll find it hard to decide what you disliked more. The makers of Dredd seem to have hit the nail on the head in the form of Olivia Thirlby’s Anderson, but the feisty female tag-along is completed wasted here. Why didn’t they call in a favour from Michelle Rodriguez? Milla Jovovich? Literally, anyone else?
No doubt there will at some point be a third instalment in this guiltily pleasurable franchise, but no matter what the Sly and the Family of Stone can come up with to throw at the fans, they’re going to have a hard time topping what has turned out to be (wait for it) the best all-out action extravaganza this side of the century’s turn. With just enough blood, just enough heart, just enough comedy and more than the necessary firepower (in a good way), any one who has ever enjoyed an action film and leaves The Expendables 2 disappointed is simply put, a liar.