I’ll start off this review by saying that, yes, I understand that I shouldn’t take Goat Simulator seriously. I know it’s a joke, but does that give the developers, Double Eleven, an excuse to charge for a game that is unpolished, buggy and, honestly, a bit of a chore to play? To begin with, I had fun with the game, but it wasn’t long until I began to get bored and the humour began to wear thin. Gameplay is also thin on the ground, besides breaking objects for points. However, considering each sandbox area is surprisingly small, it won’t be long until you’ve run out of things to headbutt or lick. To begin with, the novelty of playing as a sociopathic goat was hilarious; headbutting an innocent bystander into a petrol station, licking a truck and being dragged behind it along the ground. But that’s about it.
One way to change things up is to use one of the game’s gameplay mutators. Some of these are available to use right from the start, such as Double Jump (self-explanatory) and Italian Dinosaur Goat (no idea what it’s referencing, but licking things turns them into exploding watermelons for some reason). However, it’s the unlockable mutators that tend to be the most fun. Finding a satanic ritual and sacrificing 5 people in the pentagram unlocks the Devil Goat mutator, which sucks objects into a vortex in front of you. It’s little crazy moments like this when the game shines, as there’s not really anything else like it on the market.
An unfortunate let down is the controls; clunky and unresponsive, I often found myself falling off ledges or getting blown up because I wandered into a gas canister. The game would definitely benefit from the controls being considerably tightened up, as it would lead to fewer moments of frustration that detract from a game that’s entire goal is to be a source of carefree fun. There’s not much else to do in the base game, but that’s where the extra content in Goat Simulator: The Bundle comes in.
GoatZ, a parody of Day Z and (I’m assuming) a play on the name of the infamous Goatse meme from a few years ago, is a survival-horror version of the base game. Days progress from the initial infection, when you rise from the grave as a zombie goat and have to bleat at humans and goats to infect them. I got as far as Day 5 before I was cornered in a shopping mall by a crowd of zombies, getting mauled to death by the horde. It’s an interesting subversion of the popular Goat Simulator, with the usual humour and gameplay accentuated by the new gameplay.
In GoatZ, there’s also crafting mechanics that allow you to craft items and food, although I never really got the hang of crafting food and so I was in a perpetual state of starvation. There’s no real explanation of crafting in the game that I could find, and so this might put off some players as it’s an unneeded extra dimension of difficulty that distracts from an otherwise fun addition to the game. It changes the game, but you can still tell that it’s Goat Simulator underneath, with some added mechanics and a zombie-apocalypse reskin. It’s an interestingly humorous addition to the game, but it doesn’t really add enough to justify playing it if you didn’t like the original game.
Another addition that comes with The Bundle is the MMO Simulator. Imagine World of Warcraft where every playable character is a goat, and you’ve got the idea. I’m not the biggest lover of MMOs, and so the references and in-jokes go right over my head. Honestly, like GoatZ, it’s a nice addition, but there’s too many issues to truly enjoy it. There’s also little to no prompting on what you’re supposed to do; new quests would pop up on screen, but I had no idea what I was meant to do to complete them. I’ll admit that’s probably down to me not looking hard enough, but surely it should be quite simple to check a quest log to find out the next step.
Like most RPGs and MMOs, the game prompts you to pick a class before dropping you into the world. I initially went with the Magician class, which enabled me to shoot out fireballs and flick a deck of cards everywhere whilst dressed as a stereotypical magician. It’s little jokes like this that are the standout-feature of Goat Simulator; it’s not smart, but it’s still pretty damn funny the first time you experience it. I nearly choked on my cup of coffee when I saw that one of the classes was called “Microwave”, with a hilarious description that I won’t spoil for you.
The MMO Simulator’s best feature is definitely its surprisingly large map. It took me a while to fully explore it, coming across various areas with goat-themed names. Another big surprise is that it looks as nice as it does. It’s not on par with recent releases like The Witcher 3 and Fallout 4, but it does looks surprisingly pretty, with vibrant colours and relatively-detailed environments. The entire thing shouldn’t work, but it does, and it serves as the best Goat Simulator has to offer.
To summarise, Goat Simulator: The Bundle isn’t what I’d normally consider to be a “great” game, but it’s certainly something that I had some fun playing, at least to begin with. If mindless fun is your thing, I’d be more likely to recommend any of the Saints Row games, but I’d tentatively say that Goat Simulator is worth your time if you really want to play it. Just don’t expect much more than silly humour and headbutting things. Definitely something to play if you want to step away from the norm.