This week's new releases! March 21st – 27th

Seriously, if you can’t find a single title in this week’s bonanza of interactive entertainment that appeals to you, then I weep for your soul.

Without any doubt the headliner this week is the graphical monstrosity Crysis 2 for the PS3, PC and Xbox360. Showcasing the latest version of the ludicrously powerful CryEngine 3 it’s likely that this FPS will be significantly raising the bar on whats possible with current generation hardware. But while there’s little doubt that an adequately specced PC running Crysis 2 at full power would look utterly godlike, we still have the usual debate/flame-war on which of the console versions is “better” that needs resolving.

During the open mutiplayer testing period the general consensus was that the PS3 version just wasn’t cutting the mustard both graphically and server connection speed wise, to the point where the PS3 demo was actually pulled from the PSN last week. However Crytek claim that all the issues with the PS3 version have now been resolved, something that early reviews of the title seem to confirm. Still, if you’re in the position to be choosing a platform to play it on make sure you do a little bit of research and make up your own mind before laying down the wonga.

Hot on the heels of last week’s Warriors: Legends of Troy comes the grand daddy of hack ‘n slash: Dynasty Warriors 6 for the Xbox 360 and PS3, which will of course be released under the name Dynasty Warriors 7 (long story). Even though the Warriors games are bizarrely popular in the UK, the reception to the last major iteration in the series was rather mixed at best even from longtime fans. Perhaps fearing the further rise of Capcom’s (way more awesome!) rival franchise Sengoku Basara, it looks like Omega Force have put a little more effort into it this time around by including a host of improvements such as 13 new characters, much larger maps, real-time weapon change (surely this should be PS3 exclusive?) a new major faction and a previously unexplored time period in the Warriors mythos. Not sure that will be enough to win over new fans or even appease the current ones, but if past experience is anything to go by it will probably sell well anyway.

Dissidia [duodecim] 012 Final Fantasy and it’s PSN based prologue Prologus also hits this week, providing what will likely be one of the last major PSP titles before the NGP takes reigns this Christmas. Not really too much to say on this one, it’s the same as the last Dissidia but with more characters, a few tweaked mechanics and a new story. I guess just calling it “Super Dissidia” would violate Square Enix’s mandate to give all their portable RPGs utterly ridiculous names.

Not that they can ever hope to outdo Gust’s Ar tonelico Qoga: Knell of Ar Ciel for the PS3 in that department. This release marks the return of the popular PS2 Ar Tonelico RPG franchise that was legendary for it’s overwhelmingly frequent use of incredibly crude and hilarious double entendres. Qoga certainly upholds this tradition with such memorable lines as “I’m so exited to feel you come inside me!” (in reference to a form of mind reading) and “I see..Men are really fond of their drills” (in reference to good lord knows what). However they seem to have taken it one step further this time, with many of the female protagonists being required to shed more and more cloths in order to perform increasingly powerful magic spells, a process that the games camera is more than happy to give you an eyeful of. Unsurprisingly the game sold fairly well on it’s debut in japan, but whether this shift from clever innuendo to more blatant acts of sexualization will be as well received by the English fanbase is yet to be seen.

As we come to the end of this weeks highlights theres a chance you may be thinking “What the hell random guy who wrote this article! Why you gone into excruciating detail about some perverted JRPG but not mentioned any of 3DS launch titles!?!?!”. Well lets be honest here, while the 3DS is almost certainly going to revolutionise handheld gaming in was we never thought possible/wanted to be possible, the launch line up isn’t……stellar. Most of them are just slightly done up version of pre-existing games but with a few 3D effects shoehorned in, the worst offender being Rayman 3D which is just yet another re-release of Rayman 2: the Great Escape which came out in bloody 1999! And with the exception of a very lazy half-assed nod of acknowledgement to Super Street Fighter 4 3D, they all fall very squarely on the “Casual” side of the market market. In summary, if you’re a serious gamer it might be best to wait a while for some better titles before you pick a 3DS.

Besides who cares about 3D when you’ve got North American Hunting Extravaganza 2 for the Nintendo Wii? Sequel to last year’s seminal all-in-on hunting experience, North American Hunting Extravaganza 2 features over 20 types of big game, 10 types of waterfowl, 4 new regions, authentic real-time Labrador Retriever functionality and 4 player simultaneous multiplayer action that’s sure to BLOW YOU AWAY.

Not that that’s going to stop this great big hypocrite form buying a 3DS on day 1……… US import of couse.

Multiplatform
Crysis 2 PC/PS3/Xbox360
Dynasty Warriors 7 PS3/Xbox360
LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars DS/3DS/PS3/Xbox360/PSP/Wii/PC
Battle Vs Chess Xbox 360/PS3/PC
The first Templar PC/Xbox360

DS
Jewel Quest Solitaire Trio
Phineas & Ferb Ride Again
Wizards Of Waverley Place: Spellbound

PC
The Next Big Thing
Europa Universalis III Chronicles
Lost Saga Europe
Arcania: Fall of Setarrif
Bracken Tor: The Time Of Tooth And Cla
Darkness Within: In Pursuit of Loath Nolder
Restaurant Empire II
eXperience 112

Wii
North American Hunting Extravaganza 2

PSP
Dissidia 012[duodecim] Final Fantasy
Naruto Shippuden: Kizuna Drive

PS3
The Tomb Raider Trilogy (Contains Tomb Raider Anniversary, Legends and Underworld)
Ar tonelico Qoga: Knell of Ar Ciel

Xbox 360
John Daly’s ProStroke Golf

3DS
Super Monkey Ball 3D
Super Street Fighter IV 3D
Nintendogs + Cats: French Bulldog & New Friends
Nintendogs + Cats: Golden Retriever & New Friends
Nintendogs + Cats: Toy Poodle & New Friends
PES 2011 3D
PilotWings Resort
Ridge Racer 3D
Starpoint Gemin
Rayman 3D
Super Monkey Ball 3D
Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell 3D
Samurai Warriors: Chronicle
Madden NFL Football
The Sims 3 3D
Asphalt 3D
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars

XBLA/PSN/PC
Ghostbusters: Sanctum of Slime