Colonial Marines Collector’s Edition Just Sharp Sticks Away From Perfection

All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal’s a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! Every collector’s edition a glorious recreation of a power loader! I LOVE the Corps!

And not just for the glorious memorial of the marine showing those bugs whose boss! We get our brief, we get our badges, we get schematics, recruitment cards and intel photos! You lucky marines even get to graduate, which a glorious certificate proving you’ve done so!

What about combat wise I hear you ask? We’re the USMC! We’ve got plasma phase pulse rifles and sonic electronic ballbreakers! We even get an all expenses paid trip to the firing range!

With all this tech you lucky people will be able to customise yourselves and stand out from the crowd, which you may want to do, rumour has it Hicks, Hudson, Apone and Drake, the legends themselves. Should the Corps see fit you will also be granted the same flamethrower used by Ripley herself. All of this inside the xeno hive.

This isn’t just another bug hunt sweethearts. You know the drill, assholes and elbows! I LOVE the Corps!

Not yet enlisted sweetheart? You can join the Corps February 12 2013!